It seems as though the struggle continues.

I flip through these old pages,
I see pictures of the past and wonder.
It seems as though the struggle continues.
Am I bridging the gap
of acceptance and isolation, cowardice and bravery.
New lines are being drawn
and the first skirmishes are seen of power and money
I had found that I have prepared well
but do I want to go to battle.
I have a history of making my own rules
making my own battles, but to what end.
Do I really know more about this fight?
Am I going to make the same mistakes?
I find again that I have no desire to be king,
no desire for the prizes offered,
and it is very easy to be cynical and cast my condemnation,
but that never gets anywhere.
I am left wondering what am I to do.
What am I to fight for?
I am on my knees again asking for guidance and strength.
I pray hard that God will forgive and he would leave my blindness behind,
because I am in need of his help.