The following rant is something that I have been struggling for the past year and it is no one's fault it is something that God is trying to teach me or something else I don't know. So why am I posting it hear if it is just between me a God well I don't know other than it might clear things up and or God might give me some advice, or maybe it will help someone else who is going through the same thing. It might be personal but you know what I am trying to teach myself not to care what other people think about me and maybe this is part of that.
Oh God how tough do you want me to be. This past year has been the hardest year of my life. What do you want me to do. What do you want to change in my mind. I can't understand this God give me understanding. All I have is yours and you know that because you have taken away everything else. There is nothing else that I can run to or distract myself with it, has all become useless to me. What do you want to say to me that I can't hear. I've tried to listen so many times. Oh God be on your servant and help him in ways only you can. Oh God be on your servant and change me in only ways you can. Oh God be on your servant and guide me on paths only you know. I need you more than ever Oh God. Thank you for carrying your servant through the hard times. In your holy precious name. Amen.
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