The path clears

The path clears and wo
I find I've never been here before.
I feel a little uneasy,
feel a little excited.
Not sure what to think.
Do I run out into the open
or test the grass slowly, no need
This is something here.
Something that moved the heavens,
a bigger power than what I'm used to,
a pouring of rain that saturates me.
I am left gasping for air and confused.
What is this place?
What am I doing here?
Is this the home I've looked for?
Is this what my soul has longed for?
A place that is unshakable,
yet shakes me to the core.
A place of ultimate beauty
but a chilling breath of truth.
It cuts deep, and I realize
the insignificance of my reality,
compared with divine purpose.
What am I made for?
Why do I have nothing left?
"Now is when you have all."
"Now is when you are free."
I thank Jesus for leading me here,
and we continue on.

What if doing everything right is not enough?

God seems to teach me over and over again that you can do nothing with out God. All my efforts are useless with out him.

What if doing everything right is not enough? What if going back and changing mistakes wouldn't change a thing we would only make the mistake somewhere else? What if events aren't only controlled by our actions but by a God that truly wants to change us?

So God I can do nothing. You are ruler of all.

I do not know if what I post is right, wrong, or crazy but I do know I will continue until God says to stop. It has this unique ability that helps me, especially when I've seemed to have jammed the gas pedal at full throttle.

Never miss a beat

I resolve to remember everything.
I have this moment once,
everything is set in stone
an unchangeable past that brought me here
I have only one river to cross, one price to pay,
I resolve to never forget.

Weary from praying

I find myself completely exhausted
completely drained from pouring out my concerns to you
I find myself weary from praying.
Then you pick me up give me a little more
So I can continue to ask you to bring a little more heaven
over here on earth.

Pull me along

Pull me along
Lift my soul
for you have created a passion
to walk to road less traveled of fact and fiction
to journey to the heights and expanses
Give me strength and courage
to leave these old walls that I have created
and truly open my world to you wonders
For you are found a million miles away and right here.
Where your greatest work can be the slightest change of heart
Lead me in your ways because we are in need of your guidance Oh God.

C.H. Spurgeon, Morning by Morning, August 5

"We know that all things work together for good to them that love God." Romans viii. 28.
Upon some points a believer is absolutely sure. He knows, for instance, that God sits in the stern-sheets of the vessel when it rocks most. He believes that an invisible hand is always on the world's tiller, and that wherever providence may drift, Jehovah steers it. That re-assuring knowledge prepares him for everything. He looks over the raging waters and sees the spirit of Jesus treading the billows, and he hears a voice saying, "It is I, be not afraid." He knows too that God is always wise, and, knowing this, he is confident that there can be no accidents, no mistakes; that nothing can occur which ought not to arise. He can say, "If I should lose all I have, it is better that I should lose than have, if God so wills: the worst calamity is the wisest and the kindest thing that could befall to me if God ordains it." "We know that all things work together for good to them that love God." The Christian does not merely hold this as a theory, but he knows it as a matter of fact. Everything has worked for good as yet; the poisonous drugs mixed in fit proportions have worked the cure; the sharp cuts of the lancet have cleansed out the proud flesh and facilitated the healing. Every event as yet has worked out the most divinely blessed results; and so, believing that God rules all, that He governs wisely, that He brings good out of evil, the believer's heart is assured, and he is enabled calmly to meet each trial as it comes. The believer can in the spirit of true resignation pray, "Send me what thou wilt, my God, so long as it comes from thee; never came there an ill portion from Thy table to any of Thy children."

"Say not my soul, 'From whence can God relieve my care?'
Remember that Omnipotence has servants everywhere.
His method is sublime, His heart profoundly kind,
God never is before His time, and never is behind."

Flying Days

The day is gone,
I find myself getting older
clinging to the present,
only God is my guide.

The weeks are come and gone, and my life is still the same
So much wanting and impatience.
Can't hold to this sand,
only to the mountain of God.

I find my self doing things I never would,
I have determined that I'm crazy
wishing for normal
but God always leads on.

There are so many mistacks and regrets,
they pill behind me
in never ending cycles,
Jesus always cleans the mess.

If these days have come and gone
and I am left with empty hands
I will praise the Lord for he is good,
because all I wanted was sand that has washed away,
but now I have a friend
that never lets go.

The rock keeps on rolling,
and time keeps on moving,
never asks a question why.
God knows best so I wouldn't change a thing.

This is a prayer that I have used and I find it effective
"God this isn't working, if it is your will I need your help, if not you have to end it."
I have found the last few posts hard to post for what ever reason, maybe because they say allot about me, or they could be taken the wrong way. Don't quite know. Meh they are posted anyways.

"I will work harder"

"He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it." Matthew 10:39 NKJV

"His answer to every problem, every setback, was "I will work harder" - which he had adopted as his motto" George Orwell Animal Farm

God is gracious to us. I have noticed quite a few times how stuck on an idea I can be. It seems that the only way to convince me of something is to give me a really solid argument and time, either that or God has to convince me. My prayer to God is that when there is a problem that I would look to him when I would want to be stuck in my mentality.

God thank you for all you have done for us, we need you. Help us live for you.

The Divide that Binds (people/friends/family)

Conventional thinking has it that in natural selection survival of the fittest will create the ultimate survivor(and we would like it to be humans lol), and for some people I know that is what they believe. Life is all about a competition with everyone around them. Eugène N. Marcus disagrees, there is no ultimate survivor, or person that rules all, for every tool we gain we lose a tool. Our brain has giving us the ability to do things we never imagined but we depend on one another. Without being taught how to survive and being alone a human would not last very long, unlike other animals where they will know how to live from birth. This tool of working together has many strength's but it also has it's weaknesses. Working together creates a network of trust and dependence on each other, which when broken shows our many weaknesses. C.S. Lewis gives an interpretation of hell as an infinite city of almost empty buildings because no one wants to be neighbors with each other. If we would lose our natural need for each other would we still stay together?

Happiness is not found in toys, I've believed that for awhile but I've had trouble finding where to find happiness. I tried hard to find it by myself but God is the one who had to show me. For me it is far from the TV/computer (which just seem to be time sinks, but they do have there place and I have found they can teach you lots. To use as entertainment they have there place but for me I have to be careful). I find for me I like getting so involved with things that I don't notice the passing of time, eg creating things (even though it can be tearably frustrating and time consuming). I believe God loves releasing peoples spirit so they can find themselves in him.

The divide that binds. We humans are so different. We are as Paul describes in Romans 12:14 "For we have many members in one body, but all the members do not have the same function,"

Dear God we are poor and needy, teach us to live together, teach us how to do the impossible and overcome evil with good(Romans 12:15). Give us more then we need to do your will so that we have no choice :). Bless all your servants and help them learn from you.

The storm clouds are forming

Today you get the third blog I wrote up this weekend. I decided to scratch the others (even though I didn't really want to post this one) . No internet and busier weekend can do that. Maybe they will come tomorrow ;P.

The storm clouds are forming.
The waters are rising
Old enemies have returned from hiding
There are voices telling me to give up
telling me there is no hope
I remember the blessings of God
When things went right.
So I hold to the promise that God is in control
Remember the good forget the bad,
but it is just so hard some times so God help me.
Soon I find myself playing with insects that are on my screen
and everything is fine and I know God is here.