Most Necessary

It seems to me that we like to push an edge.
This is what elevates us above others.
It is something that I dislike,
and I try hard to disconnect from myself.
Why do we do it?
I guess we connect it to our self worth.
By being better we are more valuable.
I disagree even though I have done it many times.
So how do we value our self with out putting others down?

We are here for divine purpose and so I am valuable in your eyes God.
There is some divine plan that we are here.
There is some purpose yet to be completed.

1 Corinthians 12 NKJV
19 And if they were all one member, where would the body be?
20 But as it is, there are many members, yet one body.
21 And the eye cannot say to the hand, I have no need of you: nor again the head to the feet, I have no need of you.
22 No, those members of the body, which seem to be more feeble, are the most necessary:

I think I've crossed here before
words can be said a hundred times and I still won't get it.
Are we waiting for God to open the flood gates of understanding,
or is God waiting for us to let it in?
It seems so often I am waiting,
or is it that I can't see God's work?

So God help me to remember
Help me to carry this through
God lead us
God bless us

The Rock

At this point where I feel I'm close to the end.
Where I can't do anymore, completely done.
It's here that everything else fails.
My usual drugs fail. (Music becomes annoying, friends annoy, food becomes bland, Mind races in endless circles)
I can't do it,
But somehow God you do it.
You put the perspective back in the life,
You put the life back in the walk,
and though things are still the same,
lots still yet to be done,
but it's not the same.
I need you more.
It always amazes me.

God bless us
God lead us

just to important to compromise

So I've learned something in the past while.
I've let my rules go as far as I've dared for a bit.
I realize again how some things are just to important to compromise,
little things, big things they are way to important,
you got to hold on to no matter what.
I remember the last time I walked this way God,
I pray that I don't make the same mistakes again.
In holding something that you shouldn't you sacrifice to much.
I think everyone will be surprised,
when we find out what is important and what is not.

It's funny I really needed to let my rules go a long time ago,
but it took me so long and I needed God to show me how.
I find it's the same with everything, even this blog
it took some time and some external happenings before,
before I was convinced that this is what I could try.

Oh God
You've been teaching me cleaning house, what is important, and what's not.
Help me decipher this mess.
Oh God lead us
Oh God bless
In Jesus name amen.

[WEB] I John 4:1
Beloved, don’t believe every spirit, but test the spirits, whether they are of God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world.

Few arbitrary vendettas

So I've done something I haven't done in awhile reread old blog posts.
It wasn't as bad as I thought lol.

Few arbitrary vendettas that are uncalled for, against tv and other stuff, reasons for these are unclear.
Few repeats and I find some of my ideas for new blogs are really old ones.
Few ones that I remebered
Few ones that speak to me now, many thanks to God.

I came across something today. Sometimes you here people talk about how good things use to be.
How people had value, character, morals ... back in the day. I completely disagree, though there are things we are doing now that are completely wrong that we weren't doing before, they also had their struggles. We chose the frame around the picture. Don't get me wrong I have some old fashion twists but I keep them under wraps most of the time, and I enjoy them. I have heard that the ancient Egyptians made mention of how the youth were corrupt and the future was bleak, man we must be really messed up then ;p.

I guess there would somethings that is hard to record on a blog. How I'm learning to pray in my struggles and actually feel God lift me up. It actually really surprised me the first time when it really shouldn't. How I'm slowing learning to recognize when things are going bad and how to ask God for help.

Today I feel tired of fixing, and yet I'm writing another blog(don't know if it is fixing anything).
So God teach me to just move forward,
not worrying about anything.
God lead us,
God bless us.

This Evening's Meditation C. H. Spurgeon

"Praying in the Holy Ghost."—Jude 20.

MARK the grand characteristic of true prayer—"In the Holy Ghost." The seed of acceptable devotion must come from heaven's storehouse. Only the prayer which comes from God can go to God. We must shoot the Lord's arrows back to Him. That desire which He writes upon our heart will move His heart and bring down a blessing, but the desires of the flesh have no power with Him.
Praying in the Holy Ghost is praying in fervency. Cold prayers ask the Lord not to hear them. Those who do not plead with fervency, plead not at all. As well speak of lukewarm fire as of lukewarm prayer—it is essential that it be red hot. It is praying perseveringly. The true suppliant gathers force as he proceeds, and grows more fervent when God delays to answer. The longer the gate is closed, the more vehemently does he use the knocker, and the longer the angel lingers the more resolved is he that he will never let him go without the blessing. Beautiful in God's sight is tearful, agonizing, unconquerable importunity. It means praying humbly, for the Holy Spirit never puffs us up with pride. It is His office to convince of sin, and so to bow us down in contrition and brokenness of spirit. We shall never sing Gloria in excelsis except we pray to God De profundis: out of the depths must we cry, or we shall never behold glory in the highest. It is loving prayer. Prayer should be perfumed with love, saturated with love—love to our fellow saints, and love to Christ. Moreover, it must be a prayer full of faith. A man prevails only as he believes. The Holy Spirit is the author of faith, and strengthens it, so that we pray believing God's promise. O that this blessed combination of excellent graces, priceless and sweet as the spices of the merchant, might be fragrant within us because the Holy Ghost is in our hearts! Most blessed Comforter, exert Thy mighty power within us, helping our infirmities in prayer.

Really only God should matter and his will

"I guess it's me,
you put me in box, I try to break it.
If everyone is doing something I'll try something else."

This seems to be something I hold against the rest of the world, and God is teaching me to let go. It seems to pop up once and awhile. I realize the falsehood, by trying to break the box that is put on you, your putting yourself in a box. Really only God should matter and his will. By rebelling your letting the rest of the world control you. If they want you to do something they will make it appear otherwise so you rebel. There are times when you need to follow and times you need to rebel.
It shouldn't matter if someone puts you in a box or not, because you are following God, and that's it.

Typical Mute Math

I had a great church service,
God lead me in ways, he never has,
I find myself becoming jealous of the wise men and shepherds
How I wish I could be them,
travel to see the Saviour of the world
See the God made flesh with my own eyes.

And day turns into evening,
and I'm starting to doubt
starting to reverse.
I doubt all that's happened.
Put on old eyes,
and think about how silly such thinking is.
So I pray that God
break this shell,
help me see you.
Break this unbelief.
I know it will return,
but again I will call on you,
you are a fountain that never runs dry.
Thank you God

"‘Cause I know there’s got to be another level
Somewhere closer to the other side
And I’m feeling like it’s now or never
Can I break the spell of the typical

I’ve lived through my share of misfortune
And I’ve worked in the blazing sun
But how long should it take somebody
Before they can be someone"
Typical Mute Math

I guess it's me,
you put me in box, I try to break it.
If everyone is doing something I'll try something else.
I'd much rather hang out with real people than the typical.
How do I determine typical or real well I have no idea, but I can sure feel it.
Maybe it's the blocks set up, maybe it's the vulnerability.

Title: Brandon Heath - Wait And See lyrics

"I was born in Tennessee, late July humidity doctors said I was lucky to be alive
I’ve Been troubled since the day that I got here, troubled to the day I disappear
That’ll be the day that I finally get it right

There is hope, for me yet, because God won’t forget, all the plans he’s made for me
I have to wait and see, he’s not finished with me yet, he’s not finished with me yet

I never really was that good in school. Talked to much, broke the rules
My teachers thought I was a hopeless fool all right.
I don’t know how but I made it through, it’s one of those things you gotta do
I always had a knack for telling the truth.

There is hope, for me yet, because God won’t forget, all the plans he’s made for me
I have to wait and see, he’s not finished with me yet, he’s not finished with me yet

Still wonerin’ why I’m here. Still wrestling with my fear
But oh….He’s up to something,
And the farther out I go, I’ve seen enough to know that I’m not here for nothin’
He’s up to somethin’

So here’s my time to be a man, follow my heart as far as I can
No tellin’ where I’m ending up tonight
I never slow down or so it seems, but singing my heart is one of my dreams
All I gotta do is hold on tight.

There is hope, for me yet, because God won’t forget, all the plans he’s made for me
I have to wait and see, he’s not finished with me yet, he’s not finished with me yet
He’s not finished with me yet, He’s not finished with me yet"

God teach me to trust you
teach me to follow you
teach me about you
God bless us
God lead us

Real House

God leads you to this point, where you take a look at your self and realize all you can't do, you realize your humanness, how you are just made up of atoms of this world. You look and see all the scars, the impossibilities. You know I can't really describe the place, but I do know that it is powerful.

Out of that place God starts building a real house, one that really keeps the rain out, you won't see the foundation again (you won't see yourself this way again), and once the foundation is set there is no turning back it is set in stone.

Though some of the bricks are hard to lay down, God is insistent on building the house, and really all you got to do is hang on.

fairness, equality, 50-50

I have come to believe that fairness, equality, 50-50 etc, are figments of our imagination. They do not exist. There is acceptable and unacceptable, right and wrong, but to say that there is a place where both people think they are giving half, where all parties give(and believe that they are giving) equal amounts i believe does not exist. Human nature, greed, and how this world works say to me that it doesn't.

If you look at Jesus's life you see nothing about fairness. It is all about giving. To me there is only what we can and can not do. Only what we are called and not called to do.

We should not feel guilty or make other people feel guilty for what they can't do. We should not feel guilty or make other people feel guilty for what they aren't called to do. Who know maybe what they are doing no matter how small my have huge consequences that we are unable to see, but only God can see. Who know maybe God set the restriction for some divine purpose. We really do not and can not see the bigger picture. I believe there is method to all this madness and we aren't the ones to impose it.

Convince ourselves

Matthew 19:8+9
8 He said to them, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it has not been so.

Matthew 12
10 And behold there was a man with a withered hand. They asked him, “Is it lawful to heal on the Sabbath day?” that they might accuse him.
11 He said to them, “What man is there among you, who has one sheep, and if this one falls into a pit on the Sabbath day, won’t he grab on to it, and lift it out?
12 Of how much more value then is a man than a sheep! Therefore it is lawful to do good on the Sabbath day.”
13 Then he told the man, “Stretch out your hand.” He stretched it out; and it was restored whole, just like the other.

http://www.lucifereffect.com/guide_intro.htm
"Finally, all these sources of social influence are imposed from the outside in, from assorted influence agents on individuals or groups. One of the most powerful forms of influence is self-persuasion, where conditions are set up that encourage individuals to engage in personal thought and decision processes. Obviously we tend to know our strengths and weaknesses better than do others, so we can tailor self-generated persuasive messages likely to be effective. One tactic for inducing self-persuasion comes from role-playing positions that are contrary to one’s beliefs and values. Also when we are resolving a commitment we have made to engage in public behavior that does not follow from our personal beliefs, cognitive dissonance is created. To the extent that we come to believe we made that commitment freely, without (awareness of) external situational pressures, we start to rationalize it and come to convince ourselves that it was the right action and the right position to hold."

I wonder how many things we decree out of the hardness of our hearts, how many rules we create to control other people. How we convince ourselves we are right.